she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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