My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
