Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
