Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
