just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Small penises have feelings too.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
