Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
