you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
