I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
