my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
