I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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