id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
