Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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