Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
