i barfeds in our rink
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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