Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
