He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
