As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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