Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
