OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
