and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Your penis caused this!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
