how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
