I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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