why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
