His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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