did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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