I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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