I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
