Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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