He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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