so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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