Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Someone shattered a urinal.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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