Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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