The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
