Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
