That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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