I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
