he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
