why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize