Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
