I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
