Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I look better un-naked...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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