Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
vagina is talking i cant
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
i think im in europe. pls send help
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
