Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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