Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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