Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
