Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
