last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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