Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
