Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
