Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
