it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
