I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
