FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you win again, gameday.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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