i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
