She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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