how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I see more hoeing in ur future
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