im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
