Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.

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(678): View more from Georgia

This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.

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(618): View more from Illinois

i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?

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(734): View more from Michigan

Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk

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(216): View more from Ohio

I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair

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(312): View more from Illinois

Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.

(1-317): View more from Indiana

You really know how to show Monday who's boss.

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(707): View more from California

You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..

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