dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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