There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
