so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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