Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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