you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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