But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
