the condom got lost in my hair
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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