One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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