i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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