She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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