why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
