dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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