Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
