My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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